Jerm’s Insanity

Greetings from PR!!! I was hping to keep everyone updated and informed via pictures and videos and commentary, however i have no method to get stills to the internet (onnactounta no card reader.. and PIX messaging doesn’t work from PR (on verizon).

So, i apoligize to my 2 faithful readers who i’m confident i’ve already told all of these stories to, for putting you through this again:

I’m wriging this after some unkown number of rum&cokes, so please bear….. ah fuck it it if you can’t take a joke.

Thing i’ve learned in PR:

“Normal” temperature water in a shower means “as itomes from the tap.” Wither heated, nor cooled, but generally TO FUCKING COLD TO SHOWER.

Some hotels have time windows in which they turn on the water heaters… and often convienientl ‘forget’

Even dropzones have a vice-principal whose job it is to say ‘No’ to EVERYHTING

DZOs aiming to please will often overrule an evil vice-dzo

Rum is good (i knew this one, but being in the “Rum Capital of the World” just makes thr point ever more stronglier)

Road-side cart at 11pm is the best food on the island.. i dont care how drunk i was.

Skinnydipping in the ocean is fun

Skinnydipping at night is more funnerer

Red lights are optional after 11pm in PR

I CAN navgiate my way out of a paper bag… even if i can’t understand the road signs

i can get on the mike and be totally cool…. at least long enough to announce KEALANI’S 100TH Jump!!! woohoo!! (it was also a great distrction to let the pie brigate sneak up on her)

I love my friends.

Beach jumps rock (last time it twas so humid that sand stuck to evertything… this time is much better)

hmm. I seem to have fallen asleep after that last one, and am no longer drunk.  So my my list must end. Anyway it’s been a blast.

Oh….. having your girl leave the tropical paridise (for a long long time) a couple of days before you really really sucks. http://terrisperber.mycyberway.com/celebrex9466.html

I had a great time Saturday night. We got a bit silly at 2 different bars for Kealani’s birthday and ended up at a diner until nearly until nearly 4am after which and Dan & Ke dropped me off near the 59thst bridge. I hiked over to 63rd & York and quietly, so as not to wake the slumbering (read: the wuss went home early) Doctor, retired to the unoccupied sofa… mm drunken sleep.

About 8am I got a txt From Bernadette letting me know what time, 10am, to meet to help her move. I lounged for a bit, showered and managed to get on the FDR at 9:01am — i was gonna be late. I called her as i was approaching thruway exit 17 asking where i should meet her, and she said that things had gotten pushed back, to meet at 10:30. Cool! I could now could grab a change of clothes and some breakfast and not be too late. It was 10:01am. I got home at 10:20 and cooked an egg, threw on some jeans, checked all my pockets and… how did my ipod get into that pocket?

It felt like an ipod (is that an ipod in your pocket?), but it turns out it was actually Dr. Jenn’s wallet. Oh hell.

You see, Jenn, having dressed for going out, had a lack of pockets on her non-coat-clad person. As we weren’t wearing coats in the bar, i offered to keep her wallet in my pocket so so to be readily available.

I called the good Doctor, “I have some good news and some bad news… the good news is that you haven’t lost your wallet.”
*dramatic pause* “Jerm, this is really really bad”
“Any chance you can survive w/o it till friday (tunnel day)?”
“Jerm, i have to be ON A PLANE at 2pm”
Pondering the ramifications of this i realized 2 very unpleasant things:
1) i was going to be very late indeed helping B move.
2) i just did nyc->new paltz in record time w/o getting pulled over and it was going the frustrate the hell out of me doing the same trek 2 hours later and not being able to match the time (more traffic, smaller balls, etc..)

How could i minimize both the tardiness and automotive self-loathing? “Any chance you can met me half way”
“No, i’m still in brooklyn, and i haven’t packed… FUCK! i need to go pack!”
Shit.
I put my shoes on
I grab my coat
I grab my headset
I grab her wallet
I walk out the door & close it behind me
I wonder if i have my keys on me.

This is the part of the story where, if you considered, even for an instant, that i in fact DID have my keys, I must start to worry about you even though we have apparently never met.

I start laughing. In retrospect i imagine a less-positive stress response could have saved me a lot of time (punching in the window), but i figured that this wasn’t really a problem, as John’s car was still in the driveway, so he’s probably still home, especially considering that it’s not jumpable.

Subtract 2 points if you thought that John may have actually been home.

As i see that i’m getting long winded, i’ll summarize and let you know that i WAS able to get in touch with John who was nice enough to come let me in. I got in touch with Bernadette who was very gracious about my brain fart, especailyl considering the increase it workload this was bound to cause her, and I did manage to get Jenn’s wallet to her, though I ended up delivering it to her outside TerminalB at La Guardia….. after missing the exit for TerminalB and continuing down the GC parkway a bit then doubling back. *sigh*

I proceeded to have lunch with Rudi near city hall (i needed food & caffine), then to back to gardiner in time to help B’s crew unload the truck. I visited with Utah & deb for a bit and ended up stuck there because the roads were iced over (and you know it’s bad if _I_ won’t drive on it. I tried, i was only barely not sliding off the road, which was ok, but then i realized i wasn’t on the steep part yet. They kept me up chatting &, eventually, drinking until far too late.

‘Twas a long day.

PS The kicker of the whole incident is that Jenn was off to an interview for, I shit you not, a job that she had absolutely NO intention of accepting if offered. Nonetheless, she had to attend the interview, ah, politics.

Always, and i mean ALWAYS, wash your hands thoroughly between cutting up jalapeños and going to the bathroom.

SURE people have told me that before, and I’ve had poor experiences with rubbing my eyes, but wow. Just… wow. I think i’ve learned my lesson.

…dom to do very little.

This explains a lot