A friend recently confided in me that they had a massage that was, um, less than pleasurable. I feel alright speaking of this as they not so much confided it to me but accounced it to the whole world. Others chimed in with similar experiences and a growing general fear of the practice i thought it necessary to quell this insurgence of defamation of a practice that can be quite extraordinary in the right hands.

Yeah, you bet your ass that pun was intended.

Having throughout my life been a willing participant in both the giving and receiving of various types of massage, I thought myself at least moderately qualified to rattle on about the whats and hows of professional massage. Plus it’s my blog, damnit.

The first question one should ask is what type of massage they’re practicing. Swedish massage is generally the type of ‘feel good’ massage that most of us hope for when placing ourselves in someone else’s hands. Shiatsu is more like acupressure, but still feels quite good and should not actually be painful.

Theraputic massage, however, is another ballgame. This is the sort of Hellraiser-inspired thing that you speak of. A good friend of mine is a physical therapist and this is the sort of thing she practiced on me for years. Fortunately, being on rather familiar terms it wasn’t considered terribly rude to gnash my teeth and curse the next 10 generations of her family in a manner that would make a biker gang ask me to watch my language.

She knew what she was doing, though, and long-term it really did help. When i wanted a proper ‘feel good’ massage, though, i went to one of her coworkers who was a licensed massage therapist who delivered more of what you would expect form a day at the spa.

It really is a good idea to know what you’re getting in to before sitting down, lying down, or what have you. On the other hand, shame on all of you for not speaking up about the pain. Shame on the masseuse for not disclaimering, “let me know if this hurts,’ but damn, people…. speak up! Inflicting pain on people, unless that’s what they expect, is not a way to get customers back and any Massage American with a brain will back off if you let them know it’s too hard. If you don’t tell them it hurts, they probably don’t know, so speak up!

Now, my PT moved away and i can’t afford her friend. help!