I’ve grown accustomed to your face

I have not recently become single, one of my dearest friends has. After a mere 3/4 of a year she ended what was otherwise a great relationship except for the large lack of attraction to the other person. These things had been discussed along the way, resolutions had been attempted, but in the end, you just can’t make yourself want someone. I’m happy and sad for her. He was a nice guy and treated her really well, but as these things often happen, he’s just not for her.

Breaking up is hard to do

I say was a nice guy onaccounta the raving, near-stalking maniac he’s seem to become ever since she dropped the axe. Scathing emails, voicemails, phone calls have been salvoed. Allegations of infidelity and betrayal have been slung, and general venting of spleen has been performed. All aimed at my dear friend who, bless her heart, really tried to make things work and, when they didn’t, attempted to make the break as amicable as possible. I say this rather confidently as, although i don’t know any of the exact details, having not actually been there for any of the parting of ways, i was once privy to her swingblade and was quite mercifully done in (see above about “one of my dearest friends”).

Most relationships of a romantic nature lend to giving of oneself, hopefully from both parties. We share our time, our money, our feelings and a certain amount of accountability with the other person. Your milage may vary, as all relationships are not created equal, but this seems to be the general formula i’ve often been witness to. This is all well and good and has given rise to ideas of “give and take”, “share and share alike”, and “What’s mine is hers, what’s hers is hers”. The problems i’m on about, or will be by then end of this run-on, come about when one person takes all that sharing for granted and fails to see the boundaries therein. To wit, when the average relationship comes to a close, all of that sharing goes out the window, especially the mutual accountabiity. Questions like, “where the hell were you?” and, “oh, were you with so-and-so?” are rarely acceptable in an unbroken relationship, and certainly have no place kicking around in the ashes of one. Yet some people seem to take their hurt and anger from the breaking of bonds and impose an even greater expectation of the other’s responsability to them.

My friend, unfortunately, has fallen victim to this as well. The phases mentioned above are but a few of the more tame she’s had to endure as of late. And yet this buffon insists that she is the one in need of counseling for not knowing how to handle a relationship. *sigh*

Climbs up on the soapbox

Now, i’ll admit that in the past i’ve failed to take some breakups very well, but even in my darkest mewling moments i’ve never had the audacity to bludgeon my former partner with such utter bullshit and disrespect. It pisses me off it does, gets my panies right in a bunch.

If you take anything from tonight’s ramblings, let’s remember that when our loved ones hurt us, it’s generally not intentional, and that they’re probably hurting as well. And if you ever really did love this person, you should have the decency to let them go peacefully. Begging to be taken back is one thing, making demands upon them is another…. it’s no longer any of your business if they don’t make it so.